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How to Talk to Your Parents About Assisted Living or Independent Living

An adult daughter shows her mother something on a tablet.

Discussing your parents’ senior living options doesn’t have to be a depressing conversation about what they fear they may be losing. Rather, it could be the beginning of a fun and fulfilling new chapter in their lives — and that’s the main point you’ll want to get across. The key is to be prepared and positive — and we’ll show you exactly how to do that. 

Decide What Level of Care You’re Looking For and Begin Exploring Options

Before you and your parents can decide what they want, you have to assess what they need. At the Moorings at Lewes, for example, we offer independent living, assisted living, rehabilitation, skilled nursing, and memory care. Not sure what each of those definitions means? Take a look at this article explaining what each type of senior living option has to offer. 

Most likely, you already have a specific location in mind.  Start by making a list of all of the senior living communities in that general area — and then begin gathering information on each of them by talking with friends, checking out online forums and message boards, and visiting websites.

The goal is to have enough information gathered to be able to have an informed conversation with your parents — and give them an accurate look at their options.

Assess Any Challenges Facing Your Parents

Another way to get ready for your talk with your parents about senior living options is to take an honest look at any challenges they may be facing in their home. Are they having trouble with the demands of daily life? Are they living in a two-story home? Do they have trouble managing medications? Talk to other family members, as well, and see if they have any thoughts to add. Compile all of the information you’ve gathered and use it to inform your discussion with your parents.

Be Ready to Share Senior Living Options and Their Benefits

Comparing today’s best senior living communities with a nursing home you may have visited decades ago is sort of like comparing a resort with a roadside motel. If your parents have an outdated concept of senior living, the first thing you’ll want to do is fill them in on how things have changed. 

Far from being a place you go when you’re out of options, the best senior living communities are modern, cheerful places with multiple dining options and ways to socialize, work out, learn, relax, and enjoy life. At The Moorings at Lewes, for example, you’ll find an art studio, performance hall, butterfly garden, dog park, and fully-equipped fitness center. Your parents may be surprised — and genuinely interested in — all of the options available just steps from where they’d be living.

If you recently lost one of your parents, looking at the bright side can be extremely difficult for your mom or dad to do. Point out that many senior living communities embrace “solo seniors”, offering opportunities to meet new people and enjoy life differently.

Be Prepared With Conversation Starters

If you’re worried it’ll be hard to launch an open and productive conversation about your parents’ options for senior living, be prepared with a list of open-ended questions like these:

  • Is it ever difficult to manage the steps to the bedroom or keep up with the house or yard? 
  • Is driving becoming more difficult, especially at night?
  • Would you socialize more if you didn’t have to worry about driving?  
  • Would your life be easier and more relaxing if you had less to manage and take care of?
  • Do you have any interest in things such as playing cards, attending lectures, taking an art class, etc.?

Choose the Right Place, Time, and Tone for Your Meeting

When the time comes to meet with your parents to discuss their options for senior living, arrange to have the conversation in person, if possible, and at a time when everyone is feeling relaxed and not rushed. Once you calmly and clearly outline your concerns, as well as possible solutions, be ready to listen. Give your parents time to take in all of the information you’ve given them — and don’t pressure them to make a decision quickly. Instead, ask them if they’d like any more information on any of the senior living options you’ve just discussed. 

Follow up on Your Conversation

After giving your parents some time to digest everything you discussed, ask if they’d like to visit any of their top senior living options to see for themselves what they have to offer. At The Moorings at Lewes, for example, it just takes a minute to schedule a tour to see the campus, talk with residents, and even enjoy a meal. 

Life at The Moorings at Lewes

Located on the Delaware coast, The Moorings at Lewes offers 35 acres of opportunities, including walking paths, community ponds, a butterfly garden, a dog park, and many pleasant places to enjoy the great outdoors. Indoors, you’ll find a heated pool, a fully equipped fitness center, a woodworking shop, a library, an art center, and more. See how interesting and active life can be by scheduling a visit to our campus in Lewes, Delaware.

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